UPDATE on #2 of Top five good things!
When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and with it the rights to make new Star Wars films, it was as though millions of voices cried out at once. The thought of new adventures and excitement may have you ready for more or you may be of the opinion that a Jedi seeks not these things. Either way, here my Top 5 reasons why this announcement is a phantom menace and my Top 5 reasons why Star Wars going to the next generation of filmmakers may be a good thing.
5) Straight to Walmart's $5 DVD Bin
Have you ever seen a really good Disney sequel in the theater? Every sequel to a Disney film has gone straight to video. When a movie goes this route, the creators are already giving the impression that they have absolutely no faith in the film they are selling. "Wait a minute," you say, "Pirates of the Caribbean had three sequels in theaters!" I will concede that point, but the THIRD sequel is the only somewhat good one so far. So, maybe we're betting our ship over a bad hand of Sabacc.
4) Jar Jar Binks Disney actors will be brutally and repeatedly beaten
No one will ever want to get this short
straw on Disney Park character assignments. If I was the Disney
employee portraying Jar Jar, I'd make sure I had a good security detail
before venturing into the park. On the other hand, Disney has done its
best to erase all references to racially insensitive characters from its long and storied history.
3) Disney is just another greedy corporation
Where George Lucas went wrong with
Star Wars is easy to pinpoint: The Special Editions. We should have
sensed a disturbance in The Force when Han Shot first, but we yet didn't
realize how many times he was going to re-sell us the kinda-sorta
Original Trilogy over the next 15 years. Also, let's not forget the
endless stream of toys and product TIE-Ins that we've seen with the
Prequels. Disney bought Lucasfilm because it wants to make money off of the
Star Wars brand, so I wouldn't expect that to stop. Let's just hope the deal doesn't keep getting worse all the time.
2) All the best villains are dead.
Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, the Rancor,
Jabba the Hutt, and Boba Fett all met an untimely end (well, the
Expanded Universe managed to get Boba Fett out of the Sarlacc). The main
question is, what new villains can be as instantly iconic as the ones
that have already become one with The Force?
1) Star Wars becomes "cute"
As Disney has done with
about everything else, we can probably expect an animated Young Star
Wars TV show that will probably feature scenes of Young Darth Maul and Young Obi-Wan fighting over toys in the sandbox. Also, expect Star Wars
High School, where Papatine is the Principal, Vader is the school bully, C-3P0 is the geek, Luke is the jock, Chewie is the outcast, Leia is the rich-girl snob, and Han is the future
criminal. If any of these shows are foisted upon us, maybe we'd rather be slowly digested over a thousand years.
And here are my Top 5 reasons why this move signals the return of the Jedi.
5) New Star Wars movies
This one is a no-brainer, as Disney already has Star Wars Episode VII: the Tower of Terror in motion (just kidding on the title, I hope). Obviously we want more Star Wars. Otherwise, we wouldn't have spent billions of dollars watching Attack of the Clones several times in the theater hoping that it might actually get better with multiple viewings (Note: Watching over two hours of crap two times to see Yoda have an awesome Lightsaber duel for about 2 minutes is not worth it). With new films, we have a new hope that they will be at least pretty good.
4) Disney's (non)handling of Marvel
Don't forget that a mere three years ago, the geek world cried out in terror when Disney acquired Marvel. Everyone was worried that they would ruin the trajectory of Marvel movies and comics. However, they've essentially let Marvel keep on being Marvel, but with better marketing and a larger starting audience. They realized that if they tightened their grip, then many bad ideas would slip through their fingers.I think that everyone now realizes that the deal has been good for both Disney and Marvel and it looks like that trend will continue for the foreseeable future.
3) All the narrative dead weight is gone
Characters from the Original Trilogy were used in unnecessary ways in the Prequels that over-extended the story to connect all the dots in the story arcs. All that this accomplished was turning the story arcs into a tangled story web that more resembled an over-caffeinated spider's web than a Star Wars trilogy. They no longer have to explain the origins of Darth Vader (though it could be argued that they haven't really) and they aren't burdened with trying to make new characters and story arcs fit in rigidly with the new ones. Now, we can look back fondly on what came before and actually have no idea what is going to happen.
2) George Lucas is a Consultant
Star Wars achieved its greatness in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Why? Because George Lucas came up with the stories for both films and handed them each to different screenwriters and directors. When Lucas said a few years ago that he was done with Star Wars, many thought that he was just done inflicting pain on us with newer, more terrible films and re-re-remakes and re-re-repackaging of the classics. What no one expected is that Disney, which has the storytelling powerhouse of Pixar in its family, would be making new films. Since Lucas wrote a detailed treatment and the film will attract the cream of the crop of Hollywood's elite grown-man-boy screenwriters, we have no reason to let fear take hold of us.
UPDATE: A three film treatment was already written by Oscar Winner Michael Arndt before the deal was even announced. He is known for writing such films as Little Miss Sunshine and Toy Story 3.
1) Star Wars Land Disney Theme Park!!!
X-Wing Death Star Trench Run the Ride. Enough said.
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